hello yes cashier i would like a hamburger with small fries and a boyfriend
WHY DOESN’T ZAYN EVER GO TO THE POOL AND WEAR CUTE LITTLE SHORTS AND GET ALL WET GOD DAMN
he can’t swim
Oh
Well he should at least sit on the stairs or chill in the hot tub
babies cry because they know how much debt they’re going to be in once they graduate from college
i’m afraid sex will sound the same as when you stir potato salad and that’s why i’m staying a virgin
sorry i can’t go to your party next month i have a headache
(Source: mosh, via that-one-short-mixed-girl)
…..
No words, guys, no words…
ETA: Just broke down and checked her twitter feed. I didn’t see this tweet. Is it fake or has it been taken down?
Fake.
father’s day….lmao
(Source: bonniebwitchgoddess)
(Source: scottmeupbeamie, via castielpatronum)
Men of Tumblr, I’m counting on you to make this one good.
I got stuck
(via katelynleniczek)
(Source: lonewolfed, via howtotrainyourcrowley)
why isn’t there a STRAIGHT pride parade?? why isn’t there WHITE history month? why isn’t there an international MEN’S day!? why isn’t there a hospital for WELL people?? why isn’t there a soup kitchen for RICH people??!?
(Source: teen-heat, via katelynleniczek)
(Source: jadensmittos, via savannahunderthestars)
one of my main nicknames courtesy of my family is “emmy” and my uncle was like “what if you marry a guy named anthony whose nickname is tony then you’d be emmy and tony”
and then “what if his last name was award”
and then my cousin put in “if you have a son you could name him oscar”
emmy, tony, and oscar award
oh my god
(via savannahunderthestars)
youre-the-tardis-to-my-impala:
deanwinchesterisanangelcondom:
did you know that lullabies were originally called lilith-byes and they were sung over babies to make sure that lilith didn’t come and snatch them in the night and eat them
please tell me that you’re joking
whoa
bloODY HELL WHAT
someone didnt sing to sammy as a baby
(Source: markpellegrinoh, via saltandburnsammy)
